Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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