Small penises have feelings too.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize