Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
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Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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