The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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