Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
