well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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