i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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