An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
