like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
