If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
