Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
