you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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