THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
