ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Randomize