After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
