barbara walters just said penis...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
