So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around