Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again