He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
