I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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