in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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