Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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