Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
