How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
