just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
