She said her name was "party"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
