I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
