the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
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I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.