C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.