btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.