Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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