My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
