as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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