okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
