I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
