It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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