Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
