Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize