seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
