I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
