it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
