I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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