i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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