Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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