guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
