The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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