i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
