How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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