this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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