I understand Curling. That high.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My vagina just recognized that song.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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