you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
