sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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