Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
