I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
