We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
