Do you still have your period?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He better not be in your backpack
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
