This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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