Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
