Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
