where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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