You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
