i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
