I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
