the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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