You're completely useless in the revolution.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
