Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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