My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
