Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
